A Week of Love and Loss

I’ve been grieving this past week for my cousin who lost her 28 week old baby girl to what I understand to be an umbilical cord accident.  My heart aches for her and her family and I’ve been praying that God will give my cousin strength to make it through each day.  

There are so many sad thoughts that keep creeping into my mind... I try not to think about what it must have been like for her to deliver her stillborn baby, but I do.  I can’t begin to comprehend the roller-coaster of emotions and feelings she is experiencing right now; the emptiness in my heart for the loss of baby Olivia is often overwhelming. 

Babies are the purest and most innocent of us all. Death seems so wrong. It is unnatural and unwanted. There is no disputing this. Though none of us will understand why, I find comfort in knowing that God does not view death as an end, but rather as the beginning, because death in this world is merely the doorway into His.

God wraps these tiny babies in His unending love, heals them of all pain and deformity, wipes every tear from their eyes, and assures them of His love and the love of their parents.

And so begins another day…

I must say that I’ve been truly blessed again by the love of family and friends. My sister-in-law, Sheila put together a small, mostly family, baby shower for me and our baby girl. I received some wonderful gifts and enjoyed the delicious food and the time spent together.

Then a very kind individual from my work planned a surprise baby shower one afternoon for me. And I was very surprised! Everyone in our department came together in the conference room and gobbled up all the delicious food and desserts. It was very thoughtful of everyone to acknowledge our baby. 

My coworkers see me every day and always express excitement about the upcoming event and also concern when I’m struggling to get through the day, which isn’t too often. I appreciate their support and encouragement and I’ve enjoyed hearing stories of their experience with pregnancy and labor.

Today marks 36 weeks. I’m in my office finishing up a proposal that needs to be sent on Monday. I do feel a bit overwhelmed with my workload right now-I have several deadlines and projects due in the next three weeks that I keep praying our baby stays put for the remaining 4 more weeks.  If she decides to grace us with her presence early, I will be there to welcome her (haha)! 

Despite the normal aches and pains that come with pregnancy, I’m doing well. Our little girl is moving so much which I still find strange but at the same time, love. I’m so thankful!